Letting go of mum-guilt – you don’t have to spend every waking hour outdoors

Spending time outdoors with kids is healthy, fun, and has many other developmental benefits. This knowledge has made its way to the public conscience now, and more and more families realize this and try to incorporate it into their lives. When we open Instagram or Facebook, we see pictures of happy families outdoors, having breathtaking adventures almost every day. But what if you don’t have the time, resources, or energy to spend every waking minute of the day outdoors with your kids? What if you work full time, live in a city, and just can´t make it work as those Instagram families do? What if you sometimes just want to watch a movie with your kids because your day was hard? What if you do know that outdoor time is beneficial, but you just can´t always make it work?

We hear you!

We have decided to write this article and put together some thoughts because more and more we have noticed that many parents feel a lot of pressure. Pressure about providing their kids more adventures, about too much screen time, about not being super enthusiastic all the time, and about being the perfect parent. Pressure will not get you anywhere, and pressure will not make your kids have a nicer childhood – pressure will just produce more pressure.

Letting go of the perfect outdoor family fantasy

I am part of many Facebook groups and communities of outdoor parents, and the reoccurring theme I read is: Are we doing enough? It pains me to see that because often families feel like they have to spend time outdoors, even if they don’t feel it currently.

I think I am part of the problem – if you look at our Instagram channel, you will also only see pictures of adventures and our outdoor time. We lived in some pretty amazing countries where we were able to take some great trips, and of course, I share only those pictures. I do not show you the pictures of my daughter watching TV, of her staying inside when the weather is amazing, and of the evenings spent in front of the computer. Those happen as well!

Sometimes we are lazy, sometimes we have other stuff to do, and sometimes we just lack motivation. My daughter loves playing outdoors – but not always. And at times, it is me. Some days, I am just way too busy to take her to go swimming or even go biking with her. Sometimes I don’t want to. Sometimes the couch is calling me so loudly, that I just cannot ignore it.

So let go of that perfect social media profile of others – I am sure every family has their version of movie night. And even if it is not movie night, but hours in front of a screen alone, it is fine. As long as this is not all that you do, it is completely fine!

Don’t be so harsh on yourself, cut yourself some slack.

It´s ok to be lazy sometimes

Often as caretakers, we do not allow ourselves to be lazy and tired. And now, with all this knowledge about the benefits of outdoor play, this is just one more thing to put pressure on us. But sometimes it is ok to be lazy! Not every day can be an extraordinary adventure – if it was, it couldn’t be extraordinary anymore, right?

Going outdoors without really being motivated also brings down our outdoor game in general. You will notice, those days when you are not motivated yourself, your kids will feel the same way. Everything will be a struggle, and bad things happen. You yell you are impatient, your kids are uncreative, everybody is frustrated. Next time it will be even more difficult to get out of the door, because not you have the baggage from your last time. On those days, I prefer to just let go of our plans and stay in. Nothing is lost, and the next time we can start fresh. Those days happen. And it is ok that they do!

Related: How to get your kids to spend more time outdoors without starting a rebellion

How much screen time is too much screen time?

Screens have a bad reputation. The goal of many families is to keep kids away from them as much as possible.

Of course, parking your toddler in front of a screen for hours is probably not the best idea, but moderate screen time is not harmful either. And you should not feel guilty for it. Sometimes you need the hour of peace and calm that you get from it – and your kids as well. Don’t you also unwind in front of the TV sometimes? So why should we not allow our kids the same every now and then?

I always remember that when books first started to be popular, people told children they should not read too much, as it would be bad for their eyes. Look how this changed? Screens are not going anywhere, and proficiency in using them is going to be crucial for our kids to be successful in the world of the future, so why not use them strategically and with purpose. Without feeling bad for it.

So next time when you just don’t feel it, don’t feel bad for not going out every day and adventuring with your kids all the time. As long as outdoor play and activities are a part of your routines, you are doing your kids a huge service. Don’t beat yourself up if you don’t live up to the expectations you might have for your family – they might be unrealistic in the first place. I promise you; we will spend plenty of days on the couch this summer as well!

Have you struggled with mum- or dad-guilt related to outdoor time? I would love to hear your thoughts and discuss them with you!